You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
