Moan for me like Helen Keller
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
