I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
