Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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