Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
