Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
