K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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