This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
