do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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