My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm just crazy horny about you
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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