he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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