It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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