dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
