your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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