he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's blow job season.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just had sex on a roof
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
