I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
