I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
