Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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