dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
