I want to stick my p in your. b.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
