im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
