She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
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