i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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