for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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