is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
