the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
