I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
