Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
