I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
