Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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