Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
