I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
