Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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