UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
