Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
