Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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