i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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