note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize