Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
