So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no you cant smoke seaweed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
