We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
