Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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