the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
