I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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