broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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