oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
