I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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