Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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