In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm too high and old for this...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
