I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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