I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
