I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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