I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I woke up under a house in Key West
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
