The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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