i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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