the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
