dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
