Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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