In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
