yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
