Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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