Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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