you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
