If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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