Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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