the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
