Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
