Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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