If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize