I have demons in me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
