You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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