He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize