Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
