why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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