My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
