PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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