My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize