no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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