hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
