i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
